7 Tips for Having Confidence to Ask for Anything You Want

As we round out Season 9 of Productivity Paradox on Episode 117 this week, I want to know… How often are you able to find the confidence you need to ask for the things that you want most?

For so many of us, finding confidence is a huge stumbling block — one that tends to hold us back from pursuing the goals and big dreams that we have in mind.

So today, I want to focus on confidence and how we can conjure it up when we need it most by sharing some of my favorite tips for having the confidence you need to ask for anything you want.

Ready to jump in?


7 Tips for Having Confidence to

Ask for Anything You Want


1. Write it Down —

One of the best ways to gather the courage (and the confidence) you need to ask for what you truly want is to frame your question in your mind.

Write – it – down!

Preparation is key when it comes to having confidence that you need when facing a difficult or an uncomfortable conversation, and writing your thoughts down in advance is a great way to get yourself ready to clear that mental hurdle. The more prepared you are, the more organized you’ll feel when it comes to asking for what you want… and the more confident you’ll feel when it comes time to speak up and go for it!


2. Figure Out Why You’re Asking, Before You Ask —

Sometimes we feel uneasy about asking for what we want because we haven’t determined why we’re asking beforehand.

Whether it comes to asking for a raise or a big promotion at work, or asking your friends or family for some focused one-on-one time when you’re feeling overwhelmed, a great way to find the confidence you need to voice your request is to figure out what’s motivating you to ask!


3. Plan a Specific Time for Your Request —

Confrontation, good or bad, is something that so many of us struggle with… and it’s not hard to understand why! When we’re pushed out of our comfort zone, feelings of self-doubt uneasiness have a habit of showing up whether we invite them in or not.

To clear this particular hurdle, I recommend planning a specific time to ask for what you want.

Whether it comes to scheduling a meeting with your boss or simply letting a friend or family member know that you want to plan a day to meet up with them to talk about something that’s been weighing on your mind, marking a specific day and time on your calendar will help you commit to your question(s) and to mentally prepare for the conversation you need to have in order to get what you want!


4. Be Clear —

Find yourself stumbling over your words when faced with a difficult, unfamiliar or uncomfortable conversation?

One of the best ways to find the confidence you need is to be as clear as possible when making your request. Don’t beat around the bush or expect your friends and family to be able to read your mind!

In order to get what we truly want in life, we need to be as clear and as specific as possible about what the ‘something’ that we want is. If you lay out all of the details on the table (at home or at work), more likely than not… you’ll get the answer you’re looking for!


5. Know Your Worth —

Let’s face it… If we don’t believe that we deserve the things that we want most in life, then chances are no one else will either.

When it comes to asking those tough questions, it’s important that you recognize all of the reasons that you believe you truly deserve to get what you want! Write down your accomplishments, your biggest assets, and all of the other reasons that have allowed you to shine.

The more you acknowledge all of the things that you bring to the table and that have brought you this far in life, the easier it will be to find the confidence you need to ask for what you want.


6. Pay Attention to Your Body Language —

If you remember our discussion about Amy Cuddy’s TedTalk a few posts ago, then you already know that body language plays a huge role in how others perceive us and in how we perceive ourselves.

Want to boost your confidence? Pay close attention to your body language. Stand or sit up a little bit taller when you’re speaking your mind about the things that you want most, and don’t forget to make eye contact!

The more assertive you look when you’re opening up, the more confident you’ll feel.


7. Don’t the Possibility of a “No” Answer Interfere —

Far too often we let the slightest possibility of a “no” in response to our requests that we completely forego even asking in the first place.

Fear is a huge stumbling block, but remember… It doesn’t need to control your life or hold you back from pursuing your dreams!

Each and every one of us has received a “no” answer at one point or another, but the key to overcoming the fear of rejection is to accept that it’s a possibility in the first place.

If you’re met with an answer you weren’t hoping for, just remember that it does not mean that you don’t deserve what you’re asking for. Instead, use it as a tool to challenge yourself to put in the time and energy you need to change that “no” to a “yes” in the future.

And remember: personal and professional growth doesn’t just happen overnight! Give yourself permission to keep going after what you really want… and trust that, with some hard work and determination, the life you envision for yourself will come to fruition eventually!



Another great way to begin feeling more confident is to turn your “sorrys” into “thank you’s.” I’ve got a few examples to share with you, too, that might help get you started on this new way of thinking! We want to turn this on its head and shift our mindset so that we’re not always apologizing, instead we’re thanking others for their time and efforts… creating an even better relationship!

how to turn I'm sorry into thank you instead.

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Have some tips for finding confidence necessary to ask for the things you want most? I would love for you to share them in the comments below!

And don’t forget to tune in to Episode 117 of the podcast as we round out Season 9 with a conversation all about finding confidence in all areas of our lives!

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Tonya Dalton
Tonya Dalton