The Finding Your Yes worksheet helps you decide when to say yes or no to things in life

Finding Your Yes

The Disease to Please


I’m a people pleaser, and I know many others are too. How many times has your coworker, relative or friend asked you for things that you know you just don’t have time for? It can be very difficult to say no. But when you do, it opens up new ideas, opportunities and places to grow!

But first, it’s important to note that I have no simple answers to what you should say yes or no to. This is not one-size-fits-all. It’s all about saying yes or no when it’s best for you.

In last week’s post, I wrote about how to say no to things in life that don’t benefit you or your goals. Now, I want to talk about finding your YES!

“Push your boundaries and challenge yourself. But definitely don’t say yes to everything, because when you do, you’re not setting priorities.”


In Lisa TerKeurst’s book, The Best Yes. She writes,”Don’t make the mistake of the commandment to love one another as the disease to please.” I love that. We want make sure that everyone else is happy, and that often means putting ourselves at the bottom of the list. Another great one is The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. Most assume this book is about saying yes to everything – and really it’s about saying yes to the things that scare you.


How to Find Your YES


Push your boundaries and challenge yourself. But definitely don’t say yes to everything, because when you do, you’re not setting priorities.

So where do I start when figuring out how and when to say yes? The most important question I ask myself is, “does this align with my goals and priorities?” If it does, then I also make sure I can manage it time wise. Don’t overextend yourself! Make your yes also work for you. Next, ask yourself if it will bring you joy and happiness. If so, definitely say yes! You want to feel fulfilled and like you are doing good for yourself and others.

Still confused or unsure? I’ve got you covered. Go ahead and download the Finding Your Yes worksheet  in the Links and Resources section of the podcast and give it a go. It’s actually a road-map I’ve created to help you navigate to the right answer for you.


Finding Your Yes Road-map


Let’s go over a quick rundown of these steps!

  1. Write down the opportunity. This makes it a more physical, tangible thing instead of just an idea in your brain.
  2. As you write it out, how does it make you feel? Excited? Scared? Keep in mind being scared can be a good thing. What is gut instinct here?
  3. Answer the question of Why. Why is always the foundation of everything we do. If you can’t say accurately why you want to do it, your answer might just be no.
  4. Write down how much time it will take. Think about it. Think of all the steps you’ll have to take and be really honest with the time commitment.
  5. Lets go one step further here. You’ll see on your download that I have a follow up section for AFTER your task is completed. This will help you reflect and learn for future opportunities that you may want to either say yes or no to.


What’s Next?


Every time you say yes, you say no to something else. Are you okay to say no to those other things? Sometimes saying yes can feel amazing and validating.

At the end of the day, listen to your gut and the way opportunities make you feel, because usually that’s what is reminding you to follow your priorities and goals. Keep the Finding Your Yes download for future uses in case you find that you’re facing some tough decisions!

Comment below and tell me what opportunities you want to say yes to! And if you think you know someone that could benefit from reading this or the download, feel free to share with your friends!


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Tonya Dalton
Tonya Dalton