Finding Your Tribe: How to Create (And Be) an Effective Support System

How many of you have a support system in place to help keep you motivated and on track of achieving your goals?

While we’re discussing the importance of having a good support system on Episode 100 (that’s right, this week marks our 100th episode!) of the podcast… Today, I want to focus on how you might go about selecting an accountability partner that is right for you and the goals that you have in mind.

Because to me… Having someone there to support you while you’re navigating the often-daunting process of goal-setting and achieving can be scary! After all, how can we make sure that the people we are choosing to be in our corner are right for us in the first place? And how can we ensure that the people we choose to be in our Tribe are going to be there to support us and to hold us accountable, no matter what? This is an idea that I want to discuss a bit further today.

Let’s get started!


How to Create (And Be) an Effective Support System



Before we can find others to lend us support (and that we can also lend support to), we first have to get a handle on our own goals and aspirations. What do my goals look like? What sort of things do I value most?

These are just a few questions to ask yourself prior to building your support system. After all, how can we possibly find others that will lend us the most support and encouragement if we don’t understand what qualities or values that we believe in ourselves?

Reflect on the goals you have set and figure out what qualities you might look for in those that you include in your tribe. Then, determine the personality traits you might look for in others that will fit with your own personality and that will help serve your goals…

The more understanding that you have of who you are at your core, the easier it will be to find like-minded individuals that can lend you the support you will need along the way.



Let’s face it… It’s incredibly challenging to create or to expand our support system if we are too afraid to branch out and meet new people! I encourage you all to try something new when it comes to building up a support system for yourself.

Once you have a handle on your goals (what they look like and what they say about you at your core), consider finding a class, a group in your community, or even an online site that is aligned with your ambitions.

For example, if one of your goals is to lose weight or to exercise more, consider taking a new class at your local gym or finding a supportive online community where you can discuss your fitness goals with others.

You might be surprised by how quickly the people around you will rise up to help you in the pursuit of your goals, and how easy it will be to find and expand your tribe!



Is there an activity you might like to do with the members of your support system? A monthly or quarterly lunch date, a group class, etc.?

Depending on your goals, establishing a firm foundation with the members of your support system is incredibly beneficial…. And one way that you can do that is by creating a ritual—something that you and that each member of your support system can continually look forward to and that will help you to be more accountable of your time in-between.

Figure out what routines may work best for you and your tribe—whether it be a quarterly group call or meeting to reflect on your progress; a monthly book club meeting (for example, if one of your goals is to expand your horizons through reading more books each year); or a weekly exercise class to help maintain your focus… Determine what activities are best aligned with your group, and set those activities into motion!



One of the things that I enjoy so much about my own tribe—the support system that I share with my closest friends, is that we check in with each other often in between our quarterly meetings! And let me tell you… It has helped to make all the difference in terms of keeping myself accountable for my own progress through the interim.

Keep the lines of communication with the members of your support system open… Because let’s be honest: life is seldom “perfect”, and we can run into obstacles that breed doubt and procrastination at any time!

Whether it’s through a group email, text, or quick phone call… Let your tribe members know you’re available to help whenever they get stuck and give yourself the grace to reach out in the same way whenever you’re feeling your motivation or focus lacking. Stick together!



One of the best things that you can do to help the members of your own support system? Be the support that they need to see from you in return.

Keep the following phrase in mind: “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” Be an active participant in your tribe by lending your fellow members as much support as you yourself need when it comes to the pursuit of your own goals. Offer encouragement where it is needed, and constructive feedback when someone is feeling stuck or discouraged. And remember: a little positivity goes a long way!



What are you doing to create or expand your own support system? Share your ideas in the comments below… And tune in to Episode 100 of Productivity Paradox this week to learn even more about the importance of having a good support system in place!



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Tonya Dalton
Tonya Dalton