fear of commitment quote

Take Action and Commit Without Doubt

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win… by fearing to attempt.”William Shakespeare


So many of you have expressed how difficult it is to get started on a project or a goal that you have set for yourself – and I totally get that! Far too often, when we get stuck on taking that first step toward our goals, it’s because we have been met with that tiny voice inside of our head that questions our choices and makes us wonder, Can I really do this? What will others think of me? What happens if I fail? And so on and so forth.

That tiny voice is something that we all experience one way or another, but when it whispers negative thoughts to us about our choices and our ambitions, it can be incredibly discouraging… and it can even prevent us from ever moving forward with the things that we want to do.

This week on the podcast in Episode 075, I discuss that tiny voice (called self-doubt!), how it affects us… and how you can flip those negative thoughts on their head by changing your mindset.

Here, I’m going to share a few more tips that you can use to help combat your own self-doubt so that you can rid yourself from your own fear of commitment and get started on your goals!




  1.    Say, “STOP!” –

The moment that you find yourself thinking negatively about a decision or a goal you have set, stop. In order to change how your inner-critic speaks to you, it’s important to recognize when it starts whispering in the first place.

The longer that you allow your inner-critic to have the floor, the more likely it is that all of those negative thoughts will spin out of control and grow from a whisper… to a roar.

When you find yourself second-guessing your choices, or worse, listening to that tiny voice and the negativity that it brings, gently tell yourself something like: “No, not today!” or “I will not go down this road again.”

By gently giving yourself the space to recognize when your inner-critic is speaking up, you can disrupt the negative thought pattern and stop your inner-critic (and self-doubt) from taking over.


  1.   Talk to a Friend –

Having a support system can be huge when it comes to combating self-doubt! Whenever you find yourself second-guessing and allowing your inner-critic to take over… get in touch with someone that you trust and talk to them about it.

It becomes so easy for us to feel like we are the only one that experiences moments of self-doubt and fear of commitment, especially when it comes to our goals. But this is just not true! We all have those moments when our own negativity creeps in and disrupts our flow… and by letting those negative thoughts out, you can easily remove them from your mind and turn the situation from a negative experience to a positive one.

Having a great group of friends has been paramount for me when it comes to seeing my goals through to completion. My friends (my tribe!) and I get together several times throughout the year to discuss our goals, bounce ideas off of one another, and to lend support when and where it’s needed… And let me tell you, it has made all the difference in terms of my own self-doubt!


  1.    Keep a Journal –

More often than not, the negative thoughts that our inner-critic presents are extensions of other aspects of life that are weighing us down.

When you find yourself wracked with anxiety and self-doubt, I recommend writing all of those thoughts down in a journal!

Journaling itself can be incredibly cathartic, but even more so when we run into those moments of doubt, fear, and the like. Whenever your inner-critic starts to roar, take out your journal and devote 5 or 10 minutes to writing down everything that’s bothering you.

Once you’re done, those negative thoughts will remain on the page, giving you space you need to shift your mindset in a positive direction… and to move forward.


  1.   Remember: Other People Don’t Matter!

This idea is key… When it comes to what you want to do for yourself and for the goals you have set, other people don’t matter.

Far too often we let our fear of what other people think about us get in the way of the plans we make for ourselves. The important takeaway here is that… More often than not, other people really don’t care what we do! We all have goals and ambitions in life, so worrying about what everyone else is doing, or thinking, or saying is just plain wrong when it comes to moving forward.

If you want to do something, do it. If the goals you set for yourself are important to you at your core, it’s important to forget about everyone else… Adjust your sails, throw caution (and self-doubt) to the wind, and take off knowing that your happiness is of the utmost importance.

Not only that, but if the other people you are so concerned with are important players in your life, then chances are they’re going to celebrate you taking that first step toward your goals right along with you, and they will continue to support your progress from the sidelines!


  1.   Failure is NOT Permanent

So many of us are afraid to get started on our goals because we are so afraid of what might happen to us if we fail… But I’m here to tell you that failing is natural. We all have moments when we fall flat on our face, and that’s okay!

The important thing to think about failure is that it is temporary. Very few things are permanent in life, so it’s vital that we look at failure as a chance to learn from our mistakes, rather than something that will define us forever.

If you take that first step but it does not go as planned, look at it as an opportunity to reassess your actions and to determine how to best approach it in the future.

Remember: You are not a failure just because you failed! Rather, setbacks happen to everyone who takes chances and they are a completely natural, normal part of the process.

If you have ever heard of the proverb: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again… Then this is exactly what I mean here.

When you are met with a temporary setback, ask yourself what you can learn from it and how you can use your experience to your advantage as you move forward in a different way.



If you have been battling with your own inner-critic and bouts of self-doubt, I encourage you to give Episode 075 of Productivity Paradox a listen so that you can better understand where that critic comes from… and how you can change your mindset so that you can stop it in its tracks.

Have your own methods for combating self-doubt and fear of getting started? I want to hear them! Be sure to share your experiences in the comments below.



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Tonya Dalton
Tonya Dalton