When Happiness Doesn’t Feel Like a Choice: 3 Things to Ask Yourself

“Harness the power of your life and the gift of choices

you have in front of you.” -John O’Leary


This week on Episode 089 of Productivity Paradox I’m sitting down with motivational speaker, John O’Leary – and I cannot wait for you all to hear his story and all that he has learned from his incredible journey!

In that light, of course, I wanted to touch just a little bit more on John’s message about the power of choices, and how we can harness that power within ourselves to cultivate happiness and lead our best life possible.

One of the biggest takeaways from my conversation with John is this: Happiness is essentially a muscle that we need to exercise, just as we would exercise our bodies in the physical sense.

And so, in order to cultivate happiness, we need to make the conscious effort to put the work in to attain it.


According to John, there are usually three questions that victims of any caliber tend to ask themselves… and they typically pack a negative punch:


1. Why Me?

Why did this happen to me? Why am I so unlucky?


2. Who Cares?

Who is going to care whether I do this or that? Who is going to find me worthy?


3. What More Can I Do?

I’m not wealthy enough… I don’t have my dream job… nothing I do is good enough, anyway… etc.


In order for happiness to feel like a choice (even when we tell ourselves that it isn’t), and like it is within our control to experience it whenever we want, it’s important to learn how to shift our perspective and to turn that negativity on its head and try to view our situation in a more positive light.

The three important questions we can then ask ourselves each day to help change our mindset from the negative to the positive include:


  1. Why Me?

Why am I so lucky? Why am I so blessed? Why am I here?


2. Who Cares?

Who cares if it’s hard? It’s worthy, and so am I.


3. What More Can I Do?

What can I do to ensure tomorrow is better than today?


While the questions are obviously the same, the key is the way in which we allow ourselves to ask those questions in the first place… Because you know what? The words you speak and the actions that you take all play an important role in the benefits you reap, as well as in the happiness that you feel along the way. And that’s important to remember!



Tell me: What are the things that you tell yourself when happiness doesn’t necessarily feel like the choice that it really is? Share your experiences with me in the comments below…

I also want to encourage you to head over to Episode 089 and listen to John O’Leary’s incredible message this week and to take note of John’s advice of learning how to rise to the challenge of our choices, big or small, so that you can learn how to shift your perspective on the attainability of happiness each and every day.





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Tonya Dalton
Tonya Dalton